I often sit awake at night thinking of you. It's rather unfortunate, because unlike so many of the people in my life that have blessed me, you've done the opposite so many times. You've broken my trust. You've broken my spirit; my confidence; my heart. And yet, I sit here, awake at night, thinking of you.
What on EARTH am I doing? The Lord has blessed me so abundantly, in my life; my schooling; my friendships; my very being. And I look past all of that to you. I place my eyes just enough above all that the Lord has done for me to see past; to you. You; created faultless; fearfully; wonderfully, just as I was created. You; who is just as susceptible to the temptation of sin as I am. You; who knows me better than anyone in the world. You. I sit at night, thinking of you.
No longer. I'm done looking past God's blessings, His anointing, His grace, His LOVE, His plan for my life. You will no longer captivate my thoughts. Instead, I will lay awake at night thinking of my Savior. He whom I can look to always for answers. For trust. For confidence. For heart; for love. He who created me faultless, but who forgives me when I stray from Him. He who gives me strength to resist temptation, but who loves me just the same when I fall short. He... Who knows my every THOUGHT, my every move, my every action. Who knows me even better than you do.
Jesus, I'm done living for others. I'm done turning my head. I'm done spending my thoughts on anything but you. I love you.
"Revelation Song" -Anthony Evans.
1 Corinthians 2:9
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