"A feather in my hand, a flower in your hair."

It's funny sometimes how thoughts get started. Like, for instance; the other day I was having a conversation with someone who will remain unnamed, and she mentioned wanting Jello. Well, if we're being honest [which I think we should at all times], I detest Jello. You see, I'm a texture person, and the texture of Jello plain ol' creeps me out. So, I began thinking; "Sick. I hate Jello... I also hate being sick... I wonder if this cough I've got is ever going to go away?... Speaking of cough, I should call my sister and see how my niece is doing, she was sick not too long ago..." And then in all of my nostalgia, I said aloud, "I can't BELIEVE Abby is SIX YEARS OLD!" directly after my friend's desire for Jello had been spoken. Needless to say, she looked at me inquisitively and said, "WHAT?! WHERE did that COME FROM!?" In yet another instance, my roommate mentioned wanting to watch the movie Juno [one of my top five favorites of all time, in case you were wondering], and again, my inner monologue began; "JUNO! I LOVE THAT MOVIE!" Cue quoting of said movie in my head; "'Sorry, I'm calling on my hamburger phone...' 'No, It's Morgan Freeman, have any bones that need collecting?...' 'I'm gonna kick that Bleeker kid in the weiner next time I see him...' 'Honest to blog?!...'" etc., etc., etc., and in the span of my daydreamquoting, I thought, "Huh, blogging. Could be interesting..." which, ladies and gentlemen, is how this blessed miracle came to be [yet another Juno quote, if you caught it].

In any case, I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that any given little spec of insignificant nothing can get my brain a' goin', if you know what I mean. My best friend, Elizabeth, mentioned the other day that in her ISP Training, she and her teammates took some sort of personality quiz to decide whether they're "feelers" or "thinkers". The majority of her teammates are feelers. They listen to their hearts and decide how to deal with things based on how they feel, or on how what they decide will ultimately effect their relationships with people around them. Elizabeth, however, is a thinker. She's my everything-is-black-and-white, clear-and-concise, to-the-point best friend. Liz searches for truth constantly and doesn't always give other "emotional people" [AKA; feelers] credit where credit is due because, well, they're emotional. As I'm sure you could have already assumed, my mind was racing throughout this conversation, wading through my personality and picking out traits in an attempt to decide which side of the fence I fell on. When I said to her, "Dude, I have NO idea which one I am", she said, "Oh, girl, you're a thinker. We're alike in that sense, I think", and we left it at that.

But upon more careful consideration [and much, much more thinking about it later], I decided that I am probably the ultimate [for lack of a better word] combination of both feeler and thinker. I LOVE people. Seriously. And I care more about the people around me than is probably healthy. Seriously. My family means everything to me. Yes, cliche, blah blah, I know. But I mean it. I don't have the greatest "family life" per say, but, in the words of Jason Mraz, "I would do, oh, anything" for them. Same with my friends. I have the best friends in the world. Mean it. I could go on forever listing names of friends and qualities about them that make them SO GREAT, but I mean, you'd get bored, let's be honest. I'm just saying though, I am truly blessed to have the people in my life that I do, and when I do stupid things that could potentially effect my relationships with them, I'm hurtin'. So, in that sense, I'm a feeler. I'll do "oh, anything" to fix things; make whatever decision necessary to ensure that my friendships and relationships with family members don't wither for any reason.

But alas, I am too, a thinker [in case you hadn't grasped that just yet]. I don't like the fuzzy, in-between, no-answer-yet stages of life. I'm not always the most lovey-dovey, emotional person that the typical "feeler" is. I search for truth, constantly. And more than that, I seek truth constantly. The same couldn't be said for me a few years ago, but now... I know black from white, right from wrong, and I THINK about it ALL. THE. TIME... Seriously.

I guess the point of this here first blog of mine is to show everyone who gives two sneezes about reading it that I am an emotional, thinking, crazy, sarcastic, LOVING individual who sometimes just needs a little venting or contemplating room. I'm not telling you this so you expect great things out of my writings. In fact, I'd say this is more of an outlet for me than it is going to be something for all of you to enjoy reading... But, I think [ha.] that it's time I started writing things down. Keeping notes of all of the gobbledygook that goes on up here. In my head. Whether it be funny, deep, spiritual, musical, or just plain ridiculous, I'm gonna start keeping track. Right here.

Blessings.


"Do You Know Me?" -John Mayer.
2 Corinthians 10:5-6