"Oh, to see my name written in the wounds, for through Your suffering, I am free.

Right now, it's 2:34 AM and my eyelids are extremely heavy. My eyes are watering, and I'm practically yawning my face off, but I am absolutely restless, so I figured I'd share a quick [or maybe not so quick] thought.

Does everything really happen for a reason? I mean, does the Lord truly put every single little thing that happens in our lives there for one reason or another? My friends would say yes. My bible says yes. But I wonder. I mean, in the smallest sense of this situation possible, does every text message I get from someone REALLY matter? I mean, how does the Lord have control over that? I fully believe and trust that He has control over my life; over His plan for me. But the little things... The ones that grate on someone and that never seem to fully resolve themselves, even with prayer... Where does all of that fit into the "everything happens for God's reason" way of life?

I suppose this is all coming from a few conversations I've had with one choice person in my life within the past few months. These particular conversations have left me completely confused and lost, and through nearly four months of praying about it, I feel like I'm still hanging out at square one. I've heard it said a thousand times in my three-year walk with God now; "You may not see the reasoning for everything He does til YEARS down the road!"... Which is fine. I can deal with that. I guess I just hate the guessing game. I hate the not-knowing, hurting, completely-lost-out-of-your-mind game.

Through writing this [ah, yes; the beauty of writing down your thoughts!], I am realizing that perhaps the chaos God is putting in my life is just one of His ways of teaching me to draw closer to Him always. Perhaps it's a lesson in trust? To trust that He is sovereign, and that His reasoning for things rarely lines up with the ways I believe issues in my life should be reasoned with. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that yes, He DOES have control over every little sideways glance, or awkward conversation, or even every little miniscule text message. Hmm... My mind is beginning to tire now...

I guess I have no idea how to end this except to say that I have learned a lesson tonight- God works in SO many ways, and through SO many different situations. He is constantly working... Perhaps tonight is the first time I've begun to grasp that idea. And for that, I praise Him.


"The Power of the Cross." -UCO.
Psalm 9:10