Praise the Lord for change, and in particular, for changes of the heart.
In the past two days I've had two moments where I would have normally expected myself to react differently. One of them being a run-in with my ex-boyfriend. Normally, awkward tension or happenings end up throwing me for a loop; I overanalyze and overthink every word said. I wonder what I could have done differently. I sit and think about if THIS conversation is going to end up bringing us back together, if he's thinking the same things I am. I let little, tiny events fester until they absolutely explode in my brain until I end up unloading on someone close to me about it. On top of that, I had a dear friend of mine come and tell me that she needed to apologize for a few things said about me behind my back. My first instinct was to get defensive; to get upset with her, to blow up, to cry hysterically. But in both instances, none of my first "instincts" took over. I walked away from both events feeling an overwhelming sense of calm and peace- an understanding that I've never before felt. I laughed about the first awkward moment with said ex-boyfriend, and I hugged it out with my best friend and told her that I understood and forgave her; in both circumstances, no hard feelings, no awkward tension, no nothing!
I can't help but blame all of that on the Lord. It's so funny, for the past week I've been praying that the Lord give me a tender heart, because I've felt like it's just been hardened by recent events. And then, God proves his goodness not one, but two times in two days. I mean, He proves it ALL the time, but especially through these two experiences He's really worked through me, and I'm thankful that I am able to realize that and not take for granted the constant work that He's doing in my heart. It is amazing to be able to pour out His love on others when He is so abundantly pouring it out on us, is it not?!
"Melt My Heart to Stone" -Adele.
Hosea 6:1-3
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